Rel: The only thing I like are dogs.

Lisa: Then why don't you get a job as a dog walker?

Rel: Why would I ever want to do that!?

I don’t like media.

”

— Rel.  She was considering a job as a librarian, but then remembered and admitted that she doesn’t like books, movies, or CDs.

Allegra: I didn't know until now that "he was killed by 3 letters" meant HIV.

Rel: I still don't know that.

Rel: The Hurt Locker - is that a scary movie?

Lisa: Every movie is a scary movie for you.

Rel: True. Like Big. That's a nightmare. Its my favorite movie.

He speaks Italian because he’s French.

”

— Rel

Dance and see a monkey.” If a monkey is your dick, I don’t want to see it.

”

— Rel on Chatroulette

I want to look fly. I don’t want to look like a wizard. I’m serious - I don’t want to look like a wizard. I don’t want to feel like a wizard on my own graduation.

”

— Rel while trying to put on her cap and gown.

Andrew: she looks more tired than you do.

Rel: Why?! Because she's sleeping?!

Hoagie. Hoagie Bear.

”

— Rel after we googled “sandwich names.” He only takes pic-a-nic baskets with sandwiches in them.

Lisa: I'm in a pickle.

Rel: I love pickles. I wish I was in a pickle. living inside of a pickle.